You Know What They Say When You Assume...

Trying to teach empathy is one of the hardest lessons I've faced as a school principal and father. Trying to help children, and in some cases adults, understand or acknowledge the feelings or perspectives of others is a daily effort. Most importantly, as a principal, getting all the information before making a decision, especially when behavior is involved, is crucial. So, reflecting on the perspective of others and recognizing how someone else is feeling, are an important life skills. It is through empathy and reflection that we avoid the temptation to assume.

Assumptions often lead to a great deal of misunderstandings. Thinking we know what took place, when we do not have all of the facts, can often lead to hurt feelings, arguments, and in the area of discipline, unnecessary reactions. When a student or staff member comes to administration with a problem, taking time to listen, ask questions to gather more information, and most importantly, think, is critical. Doing so allows time to process and determine the best decision. Relying on fast answers, while timely, may often lead to future problems.

It is my stance that relying on policy driven, assumption based, fast answers rather than taking time to make a well informed decision is very similar to the education perspective, "teaching content versus teaching students." As an educator, it is my belief that I am to ensure that student learning takes place - it is not good enough to simply provide the opportunity to learn. When a student doesn't learn, my first response is to ask, "why did he or she not learn?" Through this process, I can gather more information regarding the proper next step. In asking why, I want to know what processes (instructional strategies) were used, what did the instructional delivery look like (whole group/small group/1:1), where in the demonstration of learning did the student make his or her error (error analysis). The answers from these questions drive the next steps instructionally. I view discipline in the same manner. What caused the behavior? Who was involved? Is this a repeat offense? What method of reflection/consequence was used in the past, if the student had a prior office referral. Yes, consequences are important; however, helping a student understand what went wrong and how to correct the behavior for the future is better in the long term success of students. We take this approach with reading and math, why not give behavior the same opportunity?

So, as the school year winds down and the office referrals start coming in greater numbers, my goal is to remain focused on the big picture. Remaining level headed and open to hearing everything is critical. While it is temping to assume the facts and make a fast decision, I owe it to the students, teachers, and parents to exercise due diligence and collect all of the information prior to making a decision. Failure to do so will cause undue confusion and frustration for students, parents, and teachers. We've worked so hard to have a great school year. Now is not the time to assume anything and make fools of ourselves or others.

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What Would Jim Collins, Rick DuFour, Robert Eaker, and... Jesus Do?

While I do hold my religious values close to my heart and try, as best as I can, to be a model of compassion and understanding based on the teachings of my faith, I still work in public education. It is in this institution that a "separation of church and state" must be followed. However, I received a devotional reading on my phone last week which indicates a direct link between successful entities and the Bible. Hang on for a moment as I head down this path. The message is simple: building bridges of relationships is crucial for success in life, business, and education.

The verse is from Matthew 18:15. It talks about how to respond when another person commits a wrong against you. You should be be honest with this person and work towards a mutual understanding. It is through this honesty that a relationship is formed. In order to deal with conflict in your life, you must address it quickly and honestly, while working towards common ground. See where I am headed with this?

Jim Collins conducted a great deal of research in his book, Good to Great, as he studied the characteristics of very successful companies. In order for "good" corporations to transcend to greatness, they had to engage in very intense and honest conversations. He termed these talks as being, "brutally honest." At the end of the day, if one's practice does not lead towards positive results, a conversation must be had in order to move in the right direction. Granted these talks might not have involved the addressing of corporate wrong-doing, but rather they addressed those practices that were standing in the way of ultimate success. It is through these open, respectful, and direct conversations, relationships of trust were formed. Still with me?

Another example involves Professional Learning Communities. Rick DuFour and Robert Eaker became famous by sharing their work regarding a culture of "whatever it takes," and establishing change in how American schools function. "Whatever it Takes," became a widely-relied upon tool for leaders, to help their staff view education practices differently, by holding all staff accountable for the success of a student. Whether you are working a team through a stage of "storming," or aiding a team that his highly functioning, all parties must be honest. At the end of the day, this collaborative and reflective process requires teachers to, once again build a relationship bridge of trust and support, in order to do what is best for kids. In order to do this, conflict or differing opinions must be openly addressed in an honest fashion to, work towards success. Honest conversations regarding disagreements lead to positive results. It might not occur immediately, but once a relationship is formed, trust creates a bond. Am I making sense?

As I try to tie all of this together, the common thread here is "honesty leads to relationships."  Honesty is a character trait all students are bombarded with by parents and teachers. How well do we model this trait when times are stressful or when we have differing professional opinions? Do we encourage others to be honest? Do we really promote that we care to see things differently? Are we really trying to advocate for others? Or, are we falling prey to the adage, "it's just easier to agree, than have a disagreement." So, I have to ask, what would Jim Collins, Rick Dufour, Robert Eaker, and Jesus do?

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